Friday, June 29, 2012

So, what's this BDSM-thing really?


That's a question I've been thinking about a lot lately. Both because my vanilla friends have been asking me, and because I've started checking out vanilla men. Which just feels rather pointless.

Well, I know what we DO ofcourse. I know about D/s, bondage, flogging, masochism, consent, fetishes and so on.

But what IS it? Is it just a "hobby"? Is it just something I like? Is it a preference? Or is it something stronger, something more ... basic? Like a basic need for all these things. Something I can't do without, something that I’ll sorely miss if I end up in a vanilla relationship?

Because let's face it. Finding a kinky boyfriend is hard. Atleast in Norway. Atleast for me it seems.

The English Wikipedia lists BDSM as a sexual preference. While the Norwegian one defines it as an orientation.
Which one should I choose to believe? Or … should I believe any of them? After all, we all know that Wikipedia is an undependable source of information sometimes.

If it’s a preference then it implies that it’s a voluntary choice. Does it mean that I’ve chosen to be like this? That I simply find vanilla sex to be boring?